


Natural Harvest

by RensKnight18



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben's a chef, Books, Come, Cookbooks, Cooking, Crack, F/M, Hilarity Ensues, Lots of come, Modern Era, Or do they?, Oral Sex, Present Shopping, Rey should really take note of her purchases, Reylo - Freeform, Sex, but no-one actually eats any, come jokes, organic materials, semen - Freeform, sorry in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 16:12:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18626707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RensKnight18/pseuds/RensKnight18
Summary: Rey buys a rushed gift for Ben's birthday.She really should check her purchases a little more carefully.~~~~~Once I saw the 'Natural Harvest' book floating around in Reylo circles, I just KNEW I had to write this!This is crack and I hope it doesn't gross you all out too much!! Please take it as it's intended and I hope you get a few laughs from it, because that's the idea of it.Who else could I gift this fic to than Darth_Zannah?! Girl, this is right up your alley so I hope I do it justice? Keep an eye out for your favourite word in here somewhere *wink* Love you heaps <3





	Natural Harvest

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Darth__Zannah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth__Zannah/gifts).



Rose makes her way along the aisle, running a finger across every book spine as she goes while humming _Getaway Car_ by Taylor Swift.

‘I want something…different’ Rey muses, following along behind her bestie. ‘Ben has every cookbook known to man, so I’m not even sure why I'm looking in here’

‘Because you _also_ said he has every pair of underwear and socks known to man, remember?!’ Rose replies, spinning around in a circle.

She always makes Rey laugh.

They could be cleaning toilets and Rose would somehow find a way to make it entertaining. ‘Plus, what do you buy a chef anyway? If it’s not cooking stuff, what else are they into?’

‘They?’ Rey laughs. ‘Chefs aren’t a breed, Rose. And Ben is a normal person just like everyone else’

Rose moves closer, lowering her voice. ‘Except he’s not normal, is he?’ she whispers. ‘I mean he wants a head job for every birthday, that’s not normal’

Rey bites her lip and stifles a laugh, glancing around to make sure no-one around them heard. She pushes Rose playfully in the back.

‘ _Babe_ I told you that in confidence, you can’t use it against me’

There’s no way she’s going to be ashamed of what her and her husband get up to in their own apartment.

‘I told him he could have whatever sexual favour he wanted for his birthday and, what can I say?’ she continues, pushing past Rose with a smile. ‘The guy obviously just loves my mouth around his cock, ok? Not my fault’

‘Ew, ew’ Rose responds, sticking her fingers into her ears to pretend she’s not listening. ‘So gross’

Rey rolls her eyes and continues on down the aisle ‘Whatever. You’ll enjoy it one day…’

‘No, I won’t’ Rose says pointedly. ‘It’s just something I’m not into. Luckily Hux gets that’

‘He’s pretty understanding, isn’t he?’

‘Yes, he is. That’s why I love him. Plus, I keep him plenty satisfied anyway, so he doesn’t need it’ she boasts proudly, pausing at the cookbook section.

‘Well, whatever works for you as a couple, I say. Hey, look!’

Rey pulls a book from the shelf and flips through the pages. ‘Pretty sure this is the _one_ Jamie Oliver book he hasn’t got yet’

‘ _Bor-ing_ ’ Rose replies in a sing-song voice, maybe a little too loudly. ‘C’mon babe, seriously. You’re gonna buy him another cookbook?!’

‘Rose, I’m all out of ideas. It’s all I can think of. And he loves to cook so, I know he’ll love it regardless’

‘How about some erotica? You know, with the gorgeous hunky guys with long-flowing locks and the women with hefty bosoms on the cover? You can’t tell me he wouldn’t be into that?’

Rey groans, resting against the closest shelf. ‘Uh, lemme see…no. Cookbook it is’

Rose sighs, screwing up her nose. ‘Ok, but I will not be a party to it’ she laughs.

‘Are you seriously ditching me?’ Rey spins around with the Jamie book still in her hand.

‘Unfortunately, you leave me no choice’ Rose replies, glancing at her watch. ‘Hux and I have a lunch date and I don’t wanna be late. I didn’t think we’d be taking this long in yet _another_ bookstore. Our friendship only stretches so far, you know’

'No worries, I get it' Rey laughs, rolling her eyes. 'I’m more than capable of picking out a book by myself’ she says as Rose turns to leave. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be fine’

‘I’ll text you!’

Rey shakes her head and smiles. Rose is the best girlfriend a girl could have but she can understand why she’d rather be anywhere else than helping pick out _yet another_ cookbook for Ben. She’s pretty much over it herself.

Scanning her eyes across the multitude of books, a mustard coloured spine catches her eye. She tilts her head to read the title and it sounds right up Ben’s alley. She makes a split-second decision and grabs the book, hoping it’s some sort of new organic book Ben can sink his teeth into.

She’s really over this gift shopping thing and she still has to get home and start on dinner prep for tomorrow. Ben’s birthday is the one night he doesn’t cook, which is his choice, so Rey always likes to go all out - especially as his parents will be there too.

‘This’ll do’ she mutters, waiting in line at the counter.

If she was switched on and not stressed about tomorrow night’s cooking, she probably would’ve noticed the caption under the book title - but she doesn’t.

And she probably would’ve noticed the uneasy smile the person serving flashed her - but she didn’t.

‘Can I giftwrap this for you?’ the older lady asks, cocking her head at Rey.

**_Perfect!_ **

‘Oh, yes please. That’d be great’

That’s one less job she’ll have to do before tomorrow.

‘Male or female paper?’ she asks and Rey would swear she’s avoiding eye contact.

‘Male please. It’s for my husband’s birthday tomorrow’

‘Oh? It’s really amazing what they can cook with these days, isn’t it?’ she remarks, but Rey isn’t paying attention, frantically adding things to the shopping list on her phone before she forgets.

The lady wraps the book in black and silver paper and Rey pays, finally exiting the shop and making her way to the carpark.

**_Done, finally!_ **

Next stop, supermarket.

 

~~~~~

 

‘You don’t have to go to so much trouble, babe. It’s just another birthday’

‘I know, you say that every year. And every year what do I say?’

Ben sidles up beside her, wrapping his arm around her waist. ‘You say - it’s not just another birthday and I’m cooking, so please get out of the kitchen’

‘Mhm’ Rey nods, laughing. ‘So what are you still doing here?’

Ben smiles and bends down to kiss the shell of her ear. ‘I’m actually sniffing your hair cause _damn_ it smells good’

Rey can’t help but giggle. ‘It’s raspberry and apple shampoo, I bought it yesterday’

‘Well damn, it’s got some sort of magnetic power because I can’t stay away from you’

‘Usually that wouldn’t be a problem hun, but I _really_ have to get this done. And you should really ring your parents and tell them they don’t need to bring anything tomorrow’

Ben slips away and grabs an apple, throwing it briefly in the air before catching it to crunch a large bite, juice going everywhere.

‘Babe, you know they never listen. Doesn’t matter how many times I tell Mom, she’ll still come loaded up with food like she always does’

Rey sighs. ‘Maybe you’re right’

‘I am right, trust me’

Rey’s not sure what to do. She always cooks _so much food_ and then Leia arrives loaded with wine and dessert, and sometimes even cake. Ben’s birthday dinner is kind of Rey’s thing though and she always feels like Leia’s trying to outdo her somehow, even though she’s sure she’s not.

Yet it’s always just another birthday stress every year she clearly doesn’t need.

‘Ok, maybe we could try something new this year?’

‘Mm’ Ben hums, having almost finished the tiny apple in three bites, his hand pausing in the fruit bowl as he goes for another. ‘I’m listening’

‘Maybe you could call and ask what she’s planning to bring, and then I can work around it. I know she means well, but I always feel I could do a whole lot less work if I know ahead of time…’

Ben returns to stand beside her. Rey immediately wishes she hadn’t said anything. She doesn’t want to sound ungrateful, but it is something that bothers her every year.

‘That sounds really selfish, doesn’t it? I’m sorry. Like I said, I know she means well’

‘Rey, she’s my mother. She’s always been that way, don’t feel bad. But I do like your idea, it makes perfect sense. I’ll give her a call now’

‘Thank you’ Rey goes up on her tiptoes to pull him down for a kiss, his plump lips sweet with juicy apple-goodness. ‘I love you, ya know’

‘Mhm’ he hums against her mouth, Rey’s lips swiping his with her tongue before he pulls away. ‘I know’

It’s barely 5 minutes and he’s back in the kitchen, plugging his phone into the charger on the counter.

‘Ok, so. She’s said she’ll bring wine…which is fine, cause I’m pretty sure we’re out anyway’

That’s true. Rey’s actually had a glass a night most nights this week, something she doesn’t usually do. Stress makes her drink more - what can she say?

‘Ok, good’

‘And she said she’s happy to bring, or not bring, whatever you want. She doesn’t wanna tread on your toes. I told her you have enough on your plate’

‘You didn’t tell her I didn’t _want_ her to bring anything though? Oh boy, I wish I hadn’t said anything’

‘Babe, will you relax? I was honest with her. If I can’t tell her what you want after 5 plus years of marriage, then when can I? She gets it, trust me’

‘She said just shoot her a text with what you want her to bring and she’ll leave it at that’

‘Ok, great. Thank you. I hope she doesn’t hate me…’

‘Pfft’ Ben huffs, sliding across the shiny kitchen floor in his socks. ‘I’m pretty sure she loves you more than she loves me most days’

‘Hm, if you say so’

Rey’s glad she can breathe a little easier now.

‘I’ve gotta get changed for work. Let me know if you need anything else from the market and I can grab it after my shift, ok?’

‘Thanks hun, really’

Rey knows she’s a lucky woman, because Ben is one hell of a man. Nothing is ever too much trouble for him and he has this carefree attitude she sort of envies. Although sometimes it can drive her a little crazy.

‘Do you want any dinner before you go? I can whip something up?’

‘Nah, all good. I’ll grab something at work’ he replies as he grabs his chef whites from the recently ironed stash in the living room, shucking his shirt to button them up over his muscled chest.

Rey always washes, dries and hangs them up for him. He cooks dinner most nights and she’s so grateful it’s really the least she can do - plus she enjoys feeling all domesticated.

Her and Ben are coming up to their sixth wedding anniversary in a few months and she loves him more now than she did back then, even though she didn’t know that was even possible. They’ve learnt so much about each other in that time and they’ve just grown closer and closer.

She really would be lost without him.

He’s been working night-shift for the last few months and although Rey misses him in bed at night, they both know it’s only temporary. They’re just trying to save enough money to set themselves up before they start a family then he’ll go back to more civilised hours.

That’s the plan anyway. And the one thing to know about Rey is that she loves to have a plan.

Ben busies himself getting ready and Rey finishes prepping for dinner tomorrow, grabbing a sandwich somewhere in-between to silence her growling belly.

She’s so exhausted when she finally sinks into bed, but she’s still tossing and turning when Ben arrives home at 2am - the water from the shower helping to keep her awake even longer.

Ben is damp and warm when he finally crawls into bed, Rey’s bleary eyes registering 2.46am on the clock by the bed. She groans and turns to snuggle into him and he’s surprised to find she’s awake.

‘I thought you’d be out to it by now’ he whispers, pulling her in close.

‘Should be’ she mutters. ‘Good shift?’

‘Yeah, pretty good. Get some sleep babe, big day tomorrow’ he finishes with a wink.

Rey smiles and snuggles closer still, Ben’s long arms engulfing her small frame. ‘How old will you be?’ she asks, knowing full well the answer. ’36?’

He digs his fingers into her waist, making her squirm and giggle. ‘Hey, watch it, I’m no oldie just yet. 32, but you knew that already’

‘Mm, 32. That’s a good age’ she mutters, feeling her eyes drift shut now she has Ben to snuggle into.

‘A good age?’ she hears him repeat as he shifts against her. ‘You’re delirious babe, go back to sleep’

And she’s tired enough that she does just that.

 

~~~~~

 

Dinner is uneventful and Leia and Han arrive with just the right amount of food and wine, but not so much that Rey feels outdone. So everything has worked out great.

It really is the perfect birthday dinner and Ben has laughed more tonight than she remembers in a long time, he and his Dad exchanging witty banter at the other end of the dining table while Rey chats with Leia at the other.

They get talking about life, work and future kids – she’s really keen for grandchildren but Rey’s determined to hold her ground. They have a timeline for having kids and she’s not willing to budge on it, regardless of pressure from outside.

‘Must be time for cake and presents’ Rey announces, heading to the fridge to remove the cake. She’s worked long and hard on it and it looks so good she can’t wait to sink her teeth in.

Popping 10 candles on top – not 32 because no-one makes packs with that many – she carries the cake and the matches to the table.

‘Black forest? Oh babe, you know me too well’ Ben remarks, grinning back at his wife.

Han lights the candles and Rey dims the lights so they can sing happy birthday. It’s a tradition her and Ben started for their birthdays and it’s something Rey hopes they’ll continue with their own kids one day.

They sing happy birthday and Rey cuddles up to her husband. ‘Make a wish, babe’

Ben looks up at her and smiles, closing his eyes to blow all the candles out at once with no trouble at all.

’You always were full of hot air’ Han quips, Ben rolling his eyes with a shake of his head.

After the cake is demolished, Leia and Han bring out their gifts and Rey adds her book and a few little extras to the pile on the table.

Ben begins to open them, assessing each gift individually. Han and Leia always spoil him rotten, but she can’t blame them really – if she has the money they’ll do the same with their own kids, she hopes.

‘Oh, sweet’ Ben unwraps the tie Rey had bought him earlier, holding it up to run his hands over the silky fabric. ‘This’ll go great with my pinstripe suit, thanks babe’

He leans over and kisses his wife, lingering a bit longer on her mouth just because his parents are there watching.

Ben’s the quiet one, but it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for and Rey’s always telling him that. He surprises her every now and then and it keeps her on her toes just the way she likes.

‘Alright, alright kids. Save that for later’ Han grabs his gift and hands it to Ben, Ben flashing Rey a cheeky wink and smile.

The rest of the gifts are opened and it’s time for the last one. Rey wishes it was something more exciting but sadly, it’s only a book. It’s the best she could do at the last minute and she just wants him to like it.

It’s getting late and Ben’s keen to get rid of his parents so Rey can fulfil his birthday wish, but he wants to appreciate each and every gift, especially the ones from his wife.

He rips open the shop paper and holds the book in his hands, flipping it over then back again as his brow creases. Han and Leia do their best to steal a glance.

‘Oh, that looks interesting. Is that jelly on the cover?’ Leia asks, craning her neck to try and get a good look. 'Looks delicious'

She does manage to spot the title and the words written underneath, unfortunately, her face dropping to stare down at her empty plate. ‘Oh, that’s…that's different’

However it’s Ben’s _face_ that interests Rey. Almost all the colour has drained from it, his mouth slightly agape.

**_Is he...blushing?_ **

Rey’s brow creases.  He doesn’t look even remotely interested in it, quite the opposite in fact, and she has no idea why. It’s just a cookbook and she’s pretty sure he doesn’t already have it-

Ben slips the book under his other gifts as if to hide it, looking anywhere but at his parents. ‘Any more of that cake, babe?’

He stares her down now and his parents' eyes turn on her as well.

She’s so confused. ‘Is everything…ok? You didn’t like the book?’

Ben swallows and Rey would swear the blush on his cheeks is getting darker and darker. He runs a hand through his hair, a nervous habit Rey knows all too well.

She really has no idea what’s going on.

‘Uh…yeah. It’s great. I’m still…I’m just hungry. Maybe…coffee? Coffee would be good, yeah’

**_Why is he talking funny?_ **

‘Oh, not for us thank you dear’ Leia says, her eyes still on Rey. ‘We really should go, it’s getting late’

Rey hears Ben breathe a sigh of relief and he stands and all but pushes his parents to the door.

‘Um, thank you so much for coming’. Rey hugs Leia and tries to hug Han but he’s so tall she just lets him reach down to hug her.

**_Damn tall these Solo men._ **

‘You’re most welcome, dear. And thank you for dinner, it was delicious’

‘No worries’

‘Enjoy your book’ she says to Rey with a look she can’t quite place before she grabs Han’s hand to pull him out the door.

The minute it closes Ben sinks onto the arm of the couch with his head in his hands.

‘Babe’ he starts, a little breathless and looking a little rattled. ‘What on earth made you think that was a good idea?!’

Rey still has no idea what’s going on. How could one little book cause such a strange reaction? And a cookbook of all things?!

‘And in front of my parents? Fuccck’ Ben doesn’t swear very often but he does when he’s frustrated.

Rey moves closer and he stares up at her, her hands up in confusion. ‘I honestly have no idea what I’ve done. Can you please tell me, cause you’re freaking me out’

‘Really?’ he laughs uncomfortably. ‘I’m talking about the book you bought me’

‘I know that’ she responds almost defensively, although she’s not sure what’s she defending. ‘I thought you’d like it’ she shrugs. ‘It’s like organic recipes or something, isn’t it?’

His eyes go wide and he swallows slowly. ‘Well, yes, organic is right. Wait, you really don’t know what it is?’

She shakes her head. ‘No. Why? What’s wrong with it? Please just tell me’

He stands and grabs her hand, walking her over to the table. Fishing the book out from the bottom of the pile, he holds it up with the cover facing her, running his finger underneath the title.

Rey reads it out loud. ‘Natural Harvest. Yeah, so?’ she shrugs. ‘Look it sounded healthy and I was in a real rush, so I didn’t really check. I know you’re into that healthy shit right now so I thought-’

Ben bites his lip, again running his finger over the cover, this time the line directly under the title which Rey also reads out loud - as if he can’t read it for himself.

‘A collection of semen-based recipes. Yeah so I...wait'

Her hand goes over her mouth and she breathes in a shocked gasp, her wide eyes meeting Ben’s. 'Semen?! As in?!'

He looks like he’s trying hard to stifle a laugh now as he nods back at her.

‘No. way!’

She’s horrified.

Horrified - yet somehow intrigued.

‘Gimme that’ She snatches the book and slumps down on the chair, Ben sinking down beside her.

She studies the picture on the front and it makes her stomach churn. It looks like a jelly mould but she’s figuring this one isn’t made from jelly crystals and water...

**_Yikes!_ **

She can’t stop gasping at the pictures inside, flipping it over to read the back cover, Ben sitting silent and embarrassed beside her.

‘Wow’ Rey really can’t believe what she’s reading. ‘Is this, like, a gag book or is it…you know. Do people really?’

Ben looks like a deer in the headlights. ‘I have a feeling you don’t wanna know the answer to that’

He huffs an uncomfortable laugh and blinks back at her.

‘Wait’ Rey places the book down for a second. ‘You do know I wouldn’t have bought this if I knew what it was, right? Tell me you know that?’

‘Well’ Ben pauses. ‘No, I don’t know that. I mean if you’re into that stuff you could’ve just said’ he shrugs.

‘Stop it’ she says, slapping him on the arm.

‘I mean, it could make a tasty sauce or something, I guess?’

‘Stop it! Stop teasing’ she retorts, feeling her cheeks blush a little.

‘I wonder what it tastes like though…’ She’s really just thinking everything through, but she does happen to say this out loud.

Ben does that little mouth thing in response, a slow smile creeping across his pretty lips. ‘Oh, you already know the answer to that’ he says with a wink. ‘And, speaking of’

Rey’s eyes go wide. ‘No. No, no, no. I can’t, babe…not after this!’

Ben starts laughing heartily now but he decides he’s gonna have a little fun with this first before he lets it go.

‘Why not?’ he pouts with those perfect plump lips of his. ‘It’s my birthday. It’s tradition’

**_Damn him and his plump lips and perfect cock._ **

‘Well, I can…but I’m not swallowing. No way. Not with the thought of…’ she picks up the book again and points it at him, ‘ _this_ is my head’

‘Why? What’s the difference? It still tastes the same, it’s just now you can use it in your smoothies too’

Rey sinks her head into her hands, but she can’t help but continue to laugh. And every time she dares look at Ben and he’s laughing too she only laughs harder.

‘Oh god, your parents! Did they see it? Tell me they didn’t see it?’

‘I don’t think Dad did, thank god but Mom? I’m not sure. I hid it almost as soon as I knew what it was, so probably not worth stressing over’

**_Phew._ **

‘Oh wow, what a night. I’m so sorry, I really had no idea’

Ben’s laughter begins to subside. ‘It’s ok, I believe you. Look it’s getting late, we’d better get to bed’

He stands from the table and grabs her hand, flipping the book over so he doesn’t have to look at the front cover for another second. He flicks the lights off on their way and they end up in their bedroom.

Rey dresses in her jammies and Ben strips to his briefs before joining her on top of the bed. Propped up against the bedhead he pulls Rey over his lap and she leans down to snuggle into his bare chest, placing a small kiss on each of his nipples as he sighs in happy contentment.

‘Alright' she announces. 'Present time’

Rey tries her best not to think of anything she’s just read, although her mind is spinning with what kind of recipes are hiding in that book.

**_Stop it. Focus._ **

‘You don’t have to, if you really don’t want to. We can bonk instead’

‘No, no. It’s fine. Just…yeah. Let’s not talk about…you know’

Ben chuckles as Rey digs her fingers under the band of his fancy Versace underwear so she can slide them down his legs. Instead of throwing them to the floor right away, she pulls them up and swings them around her finger, biting her lip suggestively.

‘That your new signature move, babe?’

‘Mhmm’ she nods. ‘You like it?’

‘Like you? With my underwear in your hand? Uh, yes. I like it a lot’

‘Kiss me’ she says, leaning down again to meet his lips, his underwear quickly discarded on the floor. They French kiss for a while because Rey knows it’s a sure-fire way to get him hard in a hurry.

And it works a treat.

She pauses from kissing only briefly to reach back and grab onto his length, working his sizeable girth up and down in her hand as she kisses him deeply.

The groan he gives against her mouth tells her he’s ready for her to get to work so she wastes no more time, sliding down his legs to squeeze him softly in her hand.

‘If you wanna use a flavoured condom, I really don’t mind’ Ben remarks, adjusting himself underneath her. ‘Then you don’t have to swallow’

She glances up and he’s smiling down at her with that cheeky gleam in his eye.

‘Nope’ she replies with an equally cheeky grin. ‘I’ll just pull off. All good’

He’s so hard already and from the position he’s in he’s going to be watching her every move, Rey licking her lips to add some drama before she opens her mouth wide and pushes down to take him inside.

‘ _Ohhh god_ ’

She begins so slowly, wanting to drag this out for him as long as she can. It’s his birthday after all.

‘Fuck, that feels so good. Happy birthday to me’ he mutters, his head sinking back against the wall.

He softly mewls and moans the whole time, Rey casting her eyes upwards at times to catch sight of his face.

At one stage he reaches down to cup her head with his hand, gently cushioning her as he begins to thrust gently into her mouth because he can never help himself.

‘ _Ohhh._ Close’ he mumbles, his legs shifting on the bed and his toes beginning to curl as he feels it build in his spine.

‘ _So close_ ’

He waits for her to pull off, hoping she doesn’t delay much longer.

‘ _Babe_ ’ he blurts when she waits maybe a little too long, Rey receiving the message loud and clear. She pulls her mouth off with a wet pop and works him hard as he comes, warm ropes landing on her chest and a few stray drops hitting her chin.

Ben catches his breath as Rey collects the strays on her finger before sucking them into her mouth.

‘Mm, yum’ She works her finger through the remaining come on her chest, making little sticky patterns with her finger.

She realises Ben is watching her every move so she cheekily traces his name with his come, hoping it might dry that way tomorrow if she doesn’t shower until morning.

‘Did you just write my name?’ Ben sits up to rest back on his arms.

‘I did’ she replies, sucking her finger back into her mouth.

‘You should’ve saved that’ he says, nodding to her chest.

‘Huh?’

‘My come. You should’ve caught it in a jar or something and we could’ve used it for breakfast’

‘Ugh, Ben!’ She leans forward and slaps him and he pulls her down on top of him, her chest vibrating against his as they continue to laugh.

‘That’s so gross’

‘I dunno. Might be nice on pancakes?’

‘Stop! Stop! Please’

Ben grabs her waist and tickles her until she falls off him, now a sticky mess on the sheets. He rolls onto his side and regards her with a soft smile. He really has no idea how he got so lucky.

‘C’mon babe, you know you’re the only cumbucket I need. Why waste it on cooking when I can send it down your throat instead?’

‘Right, that’s it! Tomorrow I’m burning that book’

Ben continues to laugh, stretching out to get comfortable so he can drift off. ‘Sure you will. After you photocopy the recipes’

‘Goodnight husband!’

‘Night wifey. Love you…’ Ben’s still mumbling as Rey drifts off. ‘…weird birthday gifts and all’

 

~~~~~

 

‘Whatever you’re doing with that, the answer is no’

Dawn has only just broken and Rey is up, MagicBullet at the ready and a myriad of fresh fruit and vegetables laid out on the bench.

Ben is eyeing the empty specimen jar like it might jump up and bite him on the ass if he gets too close, closing the refrigerator door to lean against it.

‘What are you on about?’ Rey quips, laughing on the inside. She doesn’t mean to actually go through with this, but she wants him to think she does.

‘That’ he remarks, making a face at the jar before looking back at Rey. ‘If you’re thinking of adding this’ he glances down at his tented boxers ‘to that’ glancing at the smoothie ingredients ‘then I have bad news for you’

‘Oh c’mon, it's nutritional. Listen’ She brings the book over and points out the information on the inside back cover.

Ben’s face is priceless as she reads it out slowly and pointedly, the morning wood in his boxers quickly deciding it won't be deflating anytime soon.

_Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food._

‘Gee, I have no idea why’ Ben grumbles, finally taking a seat at the counter. Rey continues reading out loud, because it’s way too much fun not to.

_This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!_

‘See’ she says, as if she’s made a lot of rather excellent points. ‘See what you’re missing out on’

Ben regards her carefully before a smile breaks through. ‘Maybe…but the fact remains, you need me to give it to you and you can’t make me’

He’s quickly seeing through the charade.

‘And if that means I never come again, then so be it. But you know, you did want a baby one day…’

Rey fakes anger, aggressively throws a multitude of ingredients into the Bullet to whiz them like a maniac, pouring two healthy smoothies into the tall glasses.

She slides one across to Ben and he picks it up slowly, casting a careful eye over it.

‘I don’t trust you. What’s in this exactly?’

‘Ben’ she responds, not able to stifle the laugh. ‘You just watched me make it. And unless someone magically deposited some of your come into it without either of us noticing, it’s fine’

His eyes narrow. ‘Did you…’

She cocks her head back at him. ‘Did I what?’

‘Did you…save some from last night?’

**_He can’t be serious?_ **

He doesn’t exactly produce enough to fill even a ¼ cup, but she doesn’t want to bruise his ego too much as she’ll need his precious come down the track.

She can’t help but laugh though, taking a long sip of her own smoothie and rubbing her belly. ‘Mm, I’ll never tell’

Ben looks instantly horrified, so she takes pity on him. ‘Ben, I had a shower an hour ago and it’s long gone, trust me. You’re safe’

He takes a slow sip and licks his lips. ‘If you say so. This is really good by the way’

‘Must be the extra ingredient I added’

‘Ha! Yeah well, I know that’s not true’

‘Who said it had to be yours?’

If Rey could frame the look on Ben’s face to amuse her for the rest of time, she would. He’s horrified, disgusted and strangely intrigued all at once - and it’s priceless.

His wife using _her own_ obviously hadn’t occurred to him before now.

Rey winks at him and he stands and chases her out of the kitchen and down the hall. ‘I swear, if you did…’

‘What?’ she quips cheekily, ‘You’ll want seconds?’

‘Rey Solo, you’ll pay for this’ he yells, finding her in their room and pinning her down on the bed.

‘God, I hope so’ she says, breathless and reaching up for a kiss. ‘Make the punishment swift and hard please husband’

Ben grins, leaning down to nip at her neck. ‘As you wish. But I’m using a condom because I can’t take any more chances with you’

Rey whines and pulls him down so she can whisper in his ear. ‘Don’t even think about it. I want a baby’

‘I know. But that comes later’ Ben replies, pulling back to adjust himself so he can penetrate.

‘No, now’

‘Huh?’ He rears back and stills himself over her. ‘What do you mean now? I thought we were gonna wait’

‘I don’t want to. I went off the pill…I wanna start trying’

Ben blinks back at her.

‘Sorry. I should’ve said something before now but-‘

Ben smiles and then he laughs softly, crawling back over her to settle on his hands. ‘Interesting timing babe. Wanna know why?’

Rey nods and he centers himself again, sinking inside as his mouth and eyes widen simultaneously.

Rey brings her legs up around his back to pull him all the way in.

‘Because that was my birthday wish’

'You...really?’

‘Yep’

‘Then fill me up, husband’ she whispers, pulling him down with her hands around his neck. 'Gimme all that delicious semen'

Ben chuckles and leans down, planting a soft kiss on her lips as he pulls out and thrusts roughly back in. 'Oh I plan to'

‘ _Ohh_ ’

‘But no more come jokes, ok? And that book…I’m throwing it out. I can’t risk anyone else finding it’

‘Waste of good money, but ok’ she smiles. ‘Now, enough with the talking. Please go to town on me, I need it’

‘You and me both, babe’ he grunts between thrusts. 'You and me both'

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry!! *backs away slowly*  
> Xxx


End file.
